I don't know where this came from, but it lifted me up from the depression I have had ever since my Aunt died and as nobody seems to have noticed my previous blog about my dreadful writing I am giving it to you to have a laugh and maybe realise I have friends who are just as mad as myself. PS I love this guy, he always cheers me up. So enjoy this -
Pensioner's reply re Tesco;
Didn't like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local TESCO store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkoutqueue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from TESCO.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from TESCO.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day.
There I hoped you enjoyed
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